Rebirth By: S. Baber

                Rebirth                                    By S. Baber

Living in this life not knowing if I’m just existing. Or am I part of an imaged background, floating past all the rest of the world.

The life I believe I have been leading … it’s as if I am moving, possibly floating forward with the feeling of a rope attached to me and trying to pull me back as I try to gain momentum and move forward and at the same time Images of my life and decisions I have made are swirling around me. Was I wrong, has everything I’ve done been a mistake or am I progressing and a dark force trying to convince me everything I have done has been for nothing and everything I touch I destroy?

Have I made a difference, Is there happy in this life? Will they prevail or grudgingly move forward to spite me…the knot securely planted in my throat as I think and release these thoughts to my keys.. the burning tears, the shaking of my hands the fear of these thoughts and if there is truth.

But somewhere deep inside me I can Hear and I can feel the thoughts of; You have done your best and you are strong and will overcome and not be a sub sequential thought in the line of progression. The tasks you have been handed have not always been easy but you did not give up. You sacrificed and bore yourself and your soul to see that no one should suffer such as you have. Yes you have made mistakes and Yes there will continue to be tough times but I have bore to you that you have the FAITH and strength to endure the fiery darts, cold words, and moments of cavernous silence and loneliness inside yourself. Remember I have created you out of love and forgiving of your sins and the way that you hurt yourself the most is by not coming to me and relying on me and believing that my plan for you is much greater than the one you can create for yourself. My child when you try to carry these burdens alone you become your own demise….

 

It’s at this point that my body trembles from the tears and emotions that have taken over my body. I have to relinquish control and have faith and live my life with him as the North Star…never changing and always there. A bright beacon of hope.

 

One other time I distinctly remember Him speaking to me in my time of letting go and healing. He said, I cannot make him choose you such as I cannot make him choose me…  Those words held such truth. The feelings that followed, that the pain and burden left in my heart, the love I once had for someone, all of it was lifted and taken from my heart and shoulders. I felt the full physical and emotional weight be lifted from me.

 

I can look at it as if I have hit rock bottom but I can’t properly rebuild a stronger foundation and being if I do not rid myself of the pain and destruction from before this moment. Let me live my life moving towards the glory that lies ahead…

Candescence By S. Baber written Aug 2011

Candescence    By. S. Baber    Orig. written Aug 2011


Candescent...She seems a stronger sense of being. The Cloak still among her body, but she carries all of herself with a new assurance. The quickness of pace she travels away with. Behind her is the hypnotic place of Wonderland that she is cutting away with … She hears the voices of temptation calling to her…the voices seem so sweet and loving but she is fine tuned to their deceit and trickery. The very things that added to her Heart Song help create the intricate scars that contain a twinge of pain.
The sweet melodies trying to pull her back..She turns and with the force the cloak whips around her..With the force and feeling of betrayal she plants her foot to the ground with such severity that the ground vibrates back to the Wonderland. Her Pain, her tears, her trust, her LOVE all combined in those vibrations…it strangles the voices of Wonderland to silence… flashes of her thoughts and memories, intimate moments flash through the beings that belong to the voices.
For a brief moment her body slumps from the heartache, but as if a string is attached to her she snaps back to a poignant stance that will not break her. Her sharp brown eyes facing them, they see thru to her, not just the surface, the beauty, but the scars and all that runs thru her veins. They see the Heart Song that they not only had a hand in creating but nearly destroyed. A tear manages to escape…She would like to think that they feel shame for the pain they’ve caused. But that is beyond her for the moment. The Girl In the Cloak has broke free from a portion that kept her imprisoned in self doubt. She turns away from the Wonderland and looks to the Heavens…..

Transformed Cloak By S. Baber

        Transformed Cloak           By: S. Baber

Perfumed trinities of existence within one traveling soul…the pale milky complexion has again returned, sharpening brown eyes, a flush to her cheeks…the cloak she has bore for so long has seemed to transform to a gown that as you gaze and become transfixed on her being, the garment has a silky yet cloud like appearance as if the pain has been touched with hands of the finest and purest love and forgiveness.

Her movements are as if she is floating perhaps even a butterfly. As she moves her garment gently moves in the breeze and the sunlight captures the hues of the fine thread which it has been spun from. She no longer seems scared or deer like but has a warm angelic stance. It’s as if she has waited a hundred years to be released from the turmoil that captured her in the cloak like state.

She has been touched on the pigmentations that run through her heart and being that for the first time the cursed pain had been taken from her heart and soul, taken from her and accepted and his eyes bore through to her spirit, engulfed and absorbed and accepted with his every fiber the hurt and beauty that lies within her. For the first she time she felt warmth from her toes to her heart that a trust and bond had been formed and that her greatest demise and fears could be conquered with his accepting and endless love.

Her touch to him was like thunderbolts pulsing through his body…the shock, the warmth, the power…but the beauty that ensued his being, the fact that he could read her thoughts of her heart, mind and spirit, sent through him a peace and confidence in him that he could be ultimate love and grounding force and a combined force that would be unbreakable..

Phoenix Flight. By S. Baber

For these are the things that we dream and those things shall come to be truth if you feel it in your heart and see it through with all your might. The succession of over coming doubt and fear and seeing the end amazingly clear! Taking on the fear of flight for I am mighty and strong and sing a Phoenix song...ashes to ashes and dust to dust but let it be made clear I am one to trust..

"Serene Nectar" By S. Baber

The colors of the sky..the song of their sweet lullaby....wrapped in the warmth of its colors and to see through eternal breath of the wind..it engulfs you and sways you with serene sweet smells..like diving into a wishing well.

To wish your days and heart strings were one ..to dance with the hummingbirds and drink the sweet nectar of life..for now I am the rose that blossoms sweetly,serenely And perfumes an unquenchable longing peaceful scent that induces melodic love melodies...the thorns a reminder of thick awareness and that beauty in vision and scent should not be daunted and tricked..no manipulation to be unscathed...so treat the serenity in peaceful harmony....♥

Thine Fine Loss By S. Baber

Oh the sway of sweet bitter thistles of memories that lapse in time. The pungent prick to my heart and it's senses. I look and I think where is the sky and has it died? The movement of light, of refraction, of symbolism, the ying and the yang, yet distorted and taken away....

The feeling of burs buried deep in my skin of not knowing of what might have been. The core between the two, embedded souls and known as one. What was the demise of a friendship that thought would never die?

My soul cries out to you clear to the universe through the shadowing Black Holes and a tight, twisted, cursing pain bears within knowing that there is disconnection...Have you died..have you passed on to an existence beyond my understanding...allow me release of this pain, come back my friend of my soul, the one to bear all..

Silently I die inside with no one to share and understand my meta morphing stare. I see and feel beyond understanding, and I long for your eyes to capture my existence and help prepare me in shattering the life of subordination.

Let heavens yielding touch heal the loss of friendship and trust, to a place of peace and cloaked in heavenly lust...

Heavenly Divide by: Sarah Baber

                                            Heavenly Divide                         by: Sarah Baber




She travels amongst the darkness. The sky in a great divide of endless star scapes at one hand and to the other the rolling clouds abundant with lightning..its as if she was watching two heavenly worlds combine.
The lightning was so quick it seemed as if it were dancing and when it thundered she could feel it in her soul as if it was singing her Heart Song. She felt like she could put her arms out and embrace the sky...that the next step she took would be to the clouds. The warm breeze brushing her cheeks as she spins...she opens her eyes to see she is in the skies...she is ONE with the Heavens...they are singing her Heart Songs..they carry her through the night..